My Concerns about the Homeschooling Community

19. March 2009 by Shannon.

A good friend recently posed the question, “What are your concerns for the homeschooling community?” 

I’m ashamed to say that one of my biggest concerns about/for homeschooling is the unfortunate lack of proper social skills (not socialization, which is how we relate to others, but social skills as in “we do not pick our noses in restaurants” and “we don’t barge to the front of the group so we can see, we wait our turn”).

These are areas that although many homeschoolers have well covered (it’s easy to teach in a small group), SO many more have not. Every child who is homeschooled is an Ambassador for homeschooling… and their behaviours reflect strongly on the rest of our still very fragile community. I’ve seen places actually REFUSE to take homeschool groups because even though it seems reasonable to think that with all the parents there, the kids will be better supervised, it does not work out that way. Homeschooler parents tend to congregate for “moral support” and many children take this “distracted teacher time” to show off all that is wrong with the “school yard” mindset… and it makes us ALL look like a bunch of slackers with no social skills.

This has been playing on my heart heavily lately as I’ve been to a few gatherings of homeschoolers and watched the children act like zoo animals at feeding time while the parents sit over here or over there deep in conversation. UNFORTUNATELY this is something that I kind of like about school kids… they learn how to be quiet and listen when the “teacher” (museum guide, animator, workshop leader) is talking and to wait their turns in asking questions, and file patiently past the exhibit to get their chance to see it. YES, sometimes that means that the student that is most interested gets the same amount of exposure as the absolutely couldn’t care less student… and that is where we *can* be different… we can let the interested student have more time, but that not interested student should ALSO know to behave in an appropriate manner, EVEN when he’s not the most interested in the crowd rather than tearing through the place with his voice at a dangerous decibel level wreaking havoc every where he goes. You know?

I think EVERY STUDENT, schooled or homeschooled (with the exception of one small lesson, the one on profanity, I just duct taped over that one), should take the Connect the Thoughts Manners course. It is an excellent course which addresses issues on manners from personal hygiene to behaving politely to (get this) THANKING your parents for all they do for you!!

I know that it *is* possible for children to go to a museum or other activity and behave civilly… my children do most of the time, and when one of my chidlren starts to get excitable and I start to see the warning signs that they’re about to step into dangerous grounds, I reel them back in, give them a reminder of what it means like to behave politely, and send them back out again… but keeping my eyes peeled for more warning signs.

In schools, the teachers and other chaperons do their best to remind students of the rules, briefing them before leaving, upon arriving, and reprimanding students who break the rules… why can’t we do the same… prep our kids, remind our kids, and then reprimand them when it is needed when THEY go out into public places.

Remember, our children might be the only OTHER homeschool family someone’s non-homeschool-friendly-in-laws might ever see! We need to think bigger than our own little homeschools.

Off my soapbox…

Blessings!

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